If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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