I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
