too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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