I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
