Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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