dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
