Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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