Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
