while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up under a house in Key West
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
