My first STD was from a foam party
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
