mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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