his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We left the knife in your bed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
