it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
