i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
