I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
