they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize