I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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