my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ketchup is God's man juice
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
