I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
