I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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