you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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