That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
