You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I faked an abortion last night.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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