Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize