even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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