He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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