Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize