I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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