My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
