I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
