Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
