At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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