chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
