If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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