I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
