hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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