I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
