How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
