yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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