things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
