good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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