I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
