Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
