he told me I talked like a deaf person
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
