I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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