AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
