I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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