i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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