i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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