...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
