R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
