STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
