True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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