We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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