YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
whose parrot is this?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
