This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
