Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
