and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
